Children of Alcoholics: Growing Up with an Alcoholic Parent

children of alcoholic parents

In addition, all too often, the parent who is not an alcoholic addiction art therapy ideas is too swept up in their spouse’s disease to meet the child’s needs. The full list of characteristics can be found in the Laundry List, the 14 common traits of adult children, which was written by the ACA founder Tony A. Perhaps to avoid criticism or the anger of their parent with AUD, many children tend to become super-responsible or perfectionistic overachievers or workaholics. On the other hand, people often go in the opposite direction, mirroring the same bad behaviors they witnessed during childhood. Because alcohol use is normalized in families with alcoholism, children can often struggle to distinguish between good role models and bad ones. As a result, many will end up feeling conflicted, confused, and self-conscious when they realize that drinking is not considered normal in other families.

Health Challenges

Although evidence is conflicting, some behavioral changes appear to occur in children, adolescents, and adults who had a parent with AUD. Although the roles of genetics and childhood experiences are intertwined, these children may be more susceptible to substance use and other issues. Some adult children of parents with AUD take themselves very seriously, finding it extremely difficult to give themselves a break. If they had a tumultuous upbringing, they may have little self-worth and low self-esteem and can develop deep feelings of inadequacy. Alcoholic parents (now referred to as parents with alcohol use disorder or AUD) affect their children in many ways, some so profound that the kids never outgrow them.

children of alcoholic parents

I’m Seeking Help

Daily life with an alcoholic parent is highly unpredictable and unreliable. According to the journal Pediatrics, children with FAS may also suffer from vision and hearing difficulties, deformed joints and limbs, and heart defects. The disorder can also affect the brain and central nervous system, causing learning disorders, memory problems, poor coordination and balance, hyperactivity, rapid mood changes and other problems. Babies whose mothers consume alcohol while pregnant can develop an array of physical and mental birth defects. Collectively known as fetal alcohol syndrome disorders, this group of conditions can range from mild to severe. It’s estimated that more than 28 million Americans are children of alcoholics, and nearly 11 million are under the age of 18.

This group of serious health conditions can occur when a fetus is exposed to alcohol. In 2019, around 14.5 million people ages 12 and older in the United States were living with this condition, according to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). As such, a wide range of individual and family therapy options are available through American Addiction Centers (AAC). Explore our treatment centers online or contact one of our admissions navigators. We can help you not only explore family therapy options but also identify tailored treatment programs to meet your unique needs or those of a loved one.

  1. They may begin drinking alcohol at a younger age than other people and progress quickly to a problematic level of consumption.
  2. Never entirely sure how they’d act or react, you might have found yourself constantly on high alert, ready to respond accordingly and protect yourself.
  3. They’re also more likely to do poorly in school and have social problems.

Interpersonal Effects

And they can show themselves the love, patience and respect they deserve. Children of parents who misuse alcohol are at higher risk for anxiety, depression, and unexplained physical symptoms (internalizing behaviors). They are also more likely to display rule-breaking, aggressiveness, and impulsivity (externalizing behaviors) in childhood.

Unfortunately, and for obvious reasons, children often don’t have access to these support groups while they’re still young. Even when a celebrities with fetal alcohol syndrome person grows up to become an adult child of an alcoholic, the meetings don’t necessarily focus on what it was like for a child to grow up alongside addiction and within a dysfunctional family. Parents’ use of alcohol and teens’ lower performance in school have shown an association in research. This could be related in part to the behavior issues among children of parents with an AUD.

So you might want to peruse information on how to talk to an alcoholic before you broach the topic. All of that said, it’s important to explore the potential effects so you, your children, do alcoholics have big noses or others in your life can better understand and mitigate these effects. These dysfunctional family dynamics and trauma exact a heavy psychological toll on the child, who may respond to these stressors in different ways. Growing up in an alcoholic household can be a lonely, scary and confusing experience, and research shows it impacts nearly every aspect of a child’s existence. Children of a parent with AUD may find themselves thinking they are different from other people and therefore not good enough. Consequently, they may avoid social situations, have difficulty making friends, and isolate themselves.

Sherry Gaba, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist/author specializing in addictions, codependency, and underlying issues such as depression, trauma, and anxiety. Out of necessity, you took on some of your parents’responsibilities. These may have been practical (like paying the bills) or emotional (like comforting your siblings when Mom and Dad fought).

If you’re the child of a parent who has or had an alcohol use disorder or other substance use problems, seek out support, especially if you suspect it’s causing issues for you. Therapists and other mental health professionals with experience dealing with addiction can help. In a study of more than 25,000 adults, those who had a parent with AUD remembered their childhoods as «difficult» and said they struggled with «bad memories» of their parent’s alcohol misuse. Some people experience this as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), like other people who had different traumatic childhood experiences. Children whose parents use alcohol may not have had a good example to follow from their childhood, and may never have experienced traditional or harmonious family relationships. So adult children of parents with AUD may have to guess at what it means to be «normal.»

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